Happy 2012 dear abandoned blog.

this year i will try to bring more positivity,love,and perhaps updates. I realize 2011 was not a good year for me. by the end of the year i have concluded that i am full of anger and hatred.i have hurt so many, and i am nice to those who never deserve it.


it's hard living a life you never wanted. if you are an avid follower of my blog(*scoffs*) it's crystal clear i never wanted to become a doctor. and i regret my decision of returning home to Msia. working here is just frustrating. the work load was never a question.i can work 48hours straight, no kidding. it's the mentality and how you deal with things that makes no sense at all. it's frusrating and people around you are uninspiring. so it's no suprise why most are leaving/choose to never come back.it's definitely way better anywhere but here. maybe one day, i too would leave, time will tell.

i've lost my friends. i read somewhere that you just have to forget those who have shut you out from their lives.because as we age, we change, and our views differ. and perhaps a certain points things just fall apart.the irony of life.

sigh.

Hello,it's been a while.:)

sometime I feel I am being overly emotional.

i over think some things.

I am overly sensitive.

but here's the truth.

it hurts the same.

because I am insignificant.
because my thoughts doesn't really matter.
no one really cares.
no one really listens or pays attention.

maybe it's me.
maybe I should stop trying to fit in.
because if something is right, it wouldn't feel so hard.
it should feel right.

Ramadhan and you.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan.:)

I truly do love Ramdhan. The wake up calls for sahurs, sahurs, the sound of Azan during berbuka, kurmas and mama's cooking, the call for terawikh, and how safe I feel during the month. It is a month full of goodness. and it is a month that bring us family closer together. I like how we unite at the dining table. I wish pa was with us every day. I wish Ina and the kids were not staying so far away.But that is what life is. You can never really have everything.

I realize sometimes, I do not think of pa as much as I did before. And it makes me sad knowing this sometimes. How can I forget so easily, someone who had been a huge part of my life. I try to recall pieces of your memories but sometimes I can't remember.

I'm sorry pa. I don't mean to forget. But sometimes It helps thinking you went on a long journey. That way, I will miss you, but life, will still be endurable.

combing your hair.
putting on a mask and scrubbing your face 3 x a week.
going on the trademill for at least 1/2 hour.
drink plenty of h2o.
saying no no to all the sinful food i love to eat.

All the above sounds pretty easy.
but the truth is I am lazy. As stated for the billionth time in my posts.
Is there such thing as people do change? because I never believe I have the power to.
I've seen people, change.
I've read about changes.
But yet I just can't see changes in myself.

today my only achievement is perhaps eating an orange, papaya, one tbsp of nasi goreng and milo 3 in 1.instead of just nasi goreng.the same amount of calories, but with more satisfaction from eating lagi byk.

sigh.

I

am









FATTTTTT!
HELPP!:'(

Time flies, doesn't it?

my sister just gave birth to a very handsome boy. He won my heart the very first time I met him. I'd imagine in years to come he'd win/break(hehe) hearts. My sister has not yet announced his name though I've the privilege of being the first person who knows it.and I love it. so will everyone else.:)