Monday, March 2, 2009

menjaga hati

Darling,
lama tak buka mail box.Apani selalu tak ada kredit-wang sembunyi dimana- di Macdonanlds!
ada attachment untuk keep you awake. He he..
Luv
papa


Darling ,
Before i forget ~happy Birthday and Good Luck in your exams.
I think I can go to Manchester now as the fare has reached my typical Budget (Rm 10/=!)
Luv
Papa


I know.

I don't deal with my loss well.

when one leaves, the part of me when I am with them dies away, slowly and will be part of my memories.

memories I so dearly cherish and hope to relive most of the time.

It's the part of me I love most.

It's when I think of him, I slowly choke. for I could not bring myself to picture my future.

the future which excludes him. when my, our past, had always revolved around him.

life has to go on he says, but moving on brings me further away from my past.

and my past is something I am not willing to let go.

it's too soon to grow up. it's too soon to have to stand on my own two feet.

2 comments:

burhan.s said...

i understand you so much. i exchanged byk gile emails with him as well. i like to tell myself that the emails ive exchanged with him are precious little treasures; all these small things that were only shared between us. i always feel like im talking to him when i read those emails. but letting go is hard, and that past is in fact getting farther and farther away kan. it'll be one year on the 28th for me. i hope ure doin fine myra ;)

Only Kye said...

Hi guys, after I read this I tried to look for all the email correspondence I had with my dad. I didn't have many. The few I had were mostly stuff I wanted him to print out... or like, reports on my semester results.

I feel sometimes I'm losing more and more of I had of him.

But something struck me the other day, his work pants are still hanging behind the door of his room. It makes me sad, but glad.

You try to remember back the good times with him, and you smile and laugh. Then you remember that those days are frozen in the past, gone never to return, and you cry.

These things tear you apart when you think about it too much. But I'm a master at distracting myself.

*hugs for us and our dads*