I'm sad.

it seems the ones I care are leaving me.
one
by
one.

next winter I would truly be alone. :(

i think my life is better organized now. have started to do a bit of studying, a bit of dieting, a bit of reorganizing things. so maybe I've not reached my target point just yet, but at least this is better than nothing.

RCSI is tormenting it's students. I am not sure if any college would change their system as much as this college does.I mean with every batch there would be changes in the exam format, and even in our module. every year is about experimenting.every year is about either failing its students or giving every reasons for the students to hate the experience of being a student there. mainly because once we reach our 4th year, it is all about independent learning,and the expectations are sometimes just too ridiculous.

To me, it's an extra burden because I can't afford to fail. reason no 1 is because of my flight dates. and second is because of Yati's wedding. I rather missed my paper rather than miss her wedding.

but things aren't looking so good.sighsigh.

shhh

you know what?

i do like oag.

hah.

one of the all time favvsss

edinburgh is a gorgeous city to live in. i love how it has a bit of everything. it's truly one of the places you'd like to visit when you're here.and this scottish duplex we're staying in is unbelievable. ina was lucky to get this place for a night!it normally would have costed a fortune, but with ina's luck she managed to get it for a very very reasonable price.

i love being away from dublin. because in dublin I am miserable and unhappy. and I am not with my ppl.or with the ppl who knows me at all. i think i need my dose of sanity once in a while.

i'll tell you something you might not be interested in knowing pon.

i have truly fell in love about 4 times. and these are the ones i fall head over heels with.but these ppl too, are the ones I will never have a chance in getting.

and they would all have the same aura. and my friends would normally go' mmg type you pon'. it is easy to point out. if you knw me that well that is.

I have some who ask me to lower my standards, and to go after those within my reach.after all I am not in the position to choose right?

but for now, I don't see the reason putting myself in a something with that someone for the fear of ending up alone. or because it just seemed convenient.
the whole thing just seems.a bit, no SO sad. because I am secretly wanting to be swept off my feet by my prince charming. because I secretly do want to have my own fairytale ending.

so I'll wait. even if it will take me.hurm forever?;)

sometimes i just feel tired.. of being me.

the magic faraway tree

Do you guys remember this book? this was personally one of my favourite books as a kid and I would read it over and over again. and picture the tree, characters and the lands. everytime I think of the book, it never fail to remind me of something that is so so magical.:)

Of vanity

I am very shallow. I admit. most of the times Id be thinking of how to shed 10kgs in such a short time. or things like why cant that oily greasy food/ choc be good for me? why cant those things be consumed any time and in any amount?why does all the awfully tasting vegs alike is the one which do us good?

If I were given a choice to be somebodyelse, I think Id like to be a dancer. I can't dance. when I try to learn they're posting me outside Dublin. for my GP rotations where I am supposed to be in Drogheda for 3 weeks. but they're going to put me in a hotel, which worries me because I am going to feel as if I'm on vacation. and I won't study.and I can't afford to fail because of yati's wedding and the hassle of having to rebook the tickets.

but on the other note, I think I was pretty happy because for once I don't feel so bad among the others in a group.It's nice to be complimeted once in a while because it gives you the confidence in doing something. even if that something is not something to die for.

welcome back

yes, I am very frickle minded. I would decide to either open my blog to public/ the other way round. for now, this is my decision.

when I do decide to make it private, maybe it's because things are getting a bit more..personal, and for me, I don't like this public display of my emotions. okay okay, maybe sometimes I do. for reasons which are beyond my control at times.
but as far as I know, people who do read this blog are mostly my close friends so hence the decision to make it public.yet again.

but the change in style. perhaps something like a diary?to fill it in with fillers of my very boring life yes?

now I feel like posting pictures.

I love london. because london offers a range of really cheap food and clothes and reminds me of everything nice. unlike dublin which is ridiculously expensive(when it is a kampung really) and try to squeeze out as much as they could from us, even when the economy is badd. one of the countries to raise their taxes when facing recession. sigh.. but I'll be here for another year(hopefully) and I think I am definitely going back home to practise. after all, nothing beats home.I just think I had enough of being here.haha